steady my heart

2015 has been somewhat a better year compared to the year before. I've been truly blessed with having richer relationships and plenty of good memories. Many beyond my imagination.

I look back and think about some of the rocky road that I had to go through in 2014, and realise some just had to happen. Some paved way for other things that turned out to be silver lining. Some remain a mystery, but I learnt that not everything have to be resolved. I learnt that in those cases, it's better to surrender and "lose control".

When recalling some recent incidents that brought up the past, I reminded myself that I don't need to know all the why's. I might have to ask God when I meet Him one day, or perhaps when that day comes it does not matter anymore.

One thing I do know, though, that if I overcome a particular obstacle, it prepares me for bigger ones. It sounds too obvious sometimes, but when you're down in the slumps, it's hard to think that way! If I don't, then I might not know why it happened, or worse still, I'd indulge in pity party and think the world's against me.

So when I listened to an old favourite from Kari, I think of all those messy painful times and recall His goodness and trust that He will come through for me again.

gustav made me wanna mambo

It's been some time since I chilled with some nice classical music. After a heart-to-heart chat with Sute-chan and deciding to spend Saturday evening catching up with me-time, I turned to Digital Concert Hall for some recommendation.

So happened they were featuring a free concert conducted by Gustavo Dudamel and the Simón Bolívar Symphony Orchestra. The piece that received standing ovation was Igor Stravinsky's Le Sacre du printemps. I didn't know Gustavo and this Orchestra were such a big deal until I read deeper while trying to find another version of the encore piece.

This led me to a very enthusiastic interpretation of Leonard Bernstein's Mambo, which made me wish I was part of the audience that evening!

got a trench for the first time!

I'm so used to being mistaken as a local that sometimes I just play along. I get a kick out of seeing their reaction when they realise I'm actually Malaysian.

It's not so much because I speak so fluently that I can pass off as a native, but apparently due to my appearance. However, I'm sure there are times where they must think this Japanese grrl is just trying to show off her English, or being rude because she speaks on the phone in the train, or not having the manners due to eating while walking on the road.

There are times where being a foreigner gets you away with things, just as there are times where it's nice to blend in and not be noticed.

Just last weekend as I was walking past the Sannomiya station with my Swedish colleague, we bumped into one of the HR managers and his son who were just coming out of the exit. I had to made the effort to wave and smile at him though the encounter was a brief one.

Later I commented to Stefanski that if I was walking alone, no one would have seen me there. It's not that I had anything against the manager, but would be nice to just chill out and be part of the wallpaper... ne!

hosting mikatan

This time around, I've had more activities packed into my year-end break compared to previous trips. Some of them have been quite impromptu, and I'm glad in many ways that I've been able to spend time with people whom I believe I needed to meet.

I had the pleasure of hosting some Japanese friends the previous week and last week, and also able to squeeze in a mini escapade to the Pearl of the Orient in between. Mikatan, who was in our dance group, had told me quite last minute that she was coming to visit Malaysia during our last Bible Study group of the year.

She was supposed to spend the night at my place and had wanted to meet my family, but due to some stomach discomfort decided to rest instead. She typed this message to my parents as we sat there at the backpackers hostel lobby.

セラのお父さん、お母さん、今日はお家に呼んでくださりありがとうございました。お会いするのをとても楽しみにしてたのですが、日本の冬からマレーシアが急に真夏の暑さで体調が悪いので今日はホルテルにおります。残念です。いつも、セラにはたくさんの励ましもらったり一緒に祈ったり本当に感謝してます。だから、今日は、ご両親に、セラを日本に送ってくれてることお礼を言いたかったたです。が、メールになってごめんなさいね。今度お会いできるのを楽しみにしてます。セラのご家族がますます祝福されますように。祈ります。感謝。祝福。美智子

I was so touched by her message, I wouldn't have known her thoughts until she came here. There were some other plans at first; and I wasn't sure if I could host her or even be around, so I was hesitant to promise a grand tour.

In the end, we managed to cover quite a lot of places; some I have not even been myself! I even brought her around different places to try some local delicacies.

Unfortunately, her stomach had a cultural shock, but she kept thanking me for bringing her around even after she left.

Recalling last Sunday's message on the topic of Hope, I thought how apt it was that sometimes the little that we do might have a big impact on others without us realising it. Sometimes we may need to go out of our way for someone, and it's easy to just stay in our comfort zone; but perhaps it's better to take that extra effort and look back at life without regrets.

quilt of love

I woke up today realising that I have been covered with Granma Wong's handiwork these few weeks. It was nice to just feel the fabrics as I wondered what must have gone through her mind as she worked the old sewing machine, matching the different pieces and sewed these blankets for her family members.

Even though she is no longer with us, her memory and legacy remains in our hearts. It's too bad the one she made for my parents' wedding is too tattered to be saved, but at least we still have some of the newer ones in good condition.

I wonder if I can not use them, so they can be preserved even longer!


Note : I realised after taking the picture, how the sunlight fell upon some parts of the quilt, in particular the golden and purple pieces. How notably royal.

pampered by

Whenever I return to Malaysia, I have to remind myself it's... well, Malaysia. According to Jib Gor, it's on track to becoming a developed nation in a few years' time, though there is much to suggest we are only half-baked and mainly it's just facade.

The things which are seemingly normal and expected of in Japan, are actually very-nice-to-have's and accorded in special cases in this country. Some would say, even the rest of the world.

Just a couple of days before I was due to fly back, I was trying to do some last minute Christmas shopping. Antonio happened to tag along after I had passed him some delayed gifts.

It had been a rainy day, and we both had an umbrella each. Reaching the entrance of Sogo, we were greeted with a "gadget" that wraps umbrellas with a plastic sheet so that you don't make a mess of the shops inside.

It's found almost everywhere. It helps both the customer who don't have to worry about shaking off the excess water, and keeps stores dry and safe for all.

Just push wet umbrella in. and out comes a neatly wrapped umbrella!

As part of extra service, shops also offer additional packaging for the goods that you have just purchased. Japan is well known for elaborate packaging as part of their hospitality and culture. It's normal for each piece of confectionery to be individually packed, then presented in a gorgeous box which is then covered with nice wrapping paper. These are usually put into a matching paper bag which might contain smaller bags if the goods could be presented to various people.

However, on rainy days, they also add a layer of plastic that fits the size of the paper bag just nicely so that your gifts don't get wet. Since most people take public transportation and have to carry everything back by hand, this I must say is really thoughtful of them!

The other thing which I find that really epitomises Japanese hospitality is what I call the "closing shop bow". Maybe this is just in Sogo or other high-end stores, but as I was still lingering around after closing hours trying to find the right gift, they didn't hurry me or shoo me out the door. Instead they allowed me to get what I needed, and as I walked out to the exit, each store attendant would stand by their booth/area and bow down and thank me.

Imagine going down the aisle with a few confectionery stalls on each side with the sales person bowing down as you sheepishly walk toward the exit. Hmm, maybe that's the reason - You would feel so bad for such indulgent hospitality that you would walk faster so they don't have to stay back to do extra bowing!

treats to treat

Since I have been house-bound for the past few weeks, I've been busier than ever. Trying to recover is a job of its own. Preparing own meals, washing up, boiling water, making herbal tea/lemon juice/ginger water, and taking naps in between working from home. Trying to cough out phlegm and blowing my nose takes a toll too, I think I have developed stronger abdominal muscles.

I've almost depleted my emergency stash. These are interesting tidbits I've gathered in my travels, which I keep as treats. They may be as cheap and common as a Marie biscuit, but there's only 1 in my larder and I would not be able to get them again.

Thank God for a Godly mum who prays and sends over Chinese herbs. She would get me packets of traditional Chinese herb or medicine or ingredients whenever I come home, which now I find extremely useful. I've never had to make all these when I was in Tokyo.

The first week was quite okay, just me battling common flu and sore throat while working till past midnight. Since I'm no robot, my body crumbled the 2nd week with the lack of rest. Thinking a trip to the doctor would fix it, I waited half a day and ended up getting medicine that didn't even help much. In the end, my Hong Kong friend's recommended medicine made a difference. It turned out these were traditional chinese medicine, but packaged in Japan.

I guess it's kinda good to be made to rest once in awhile. If not, I'd leave these treats untouched, and as Sute-chan says, they would just expire and go to waste. I'm such a person for delayed gratification and would deprive myself of little delights even though I deserve 'em.

more tou miau farm next to my balcony

It's been some time since i grew tou miau. Actually I started growing this batch to see if it would do better than the previous ones that I kept giving away. I left it for a few days and was excited to see it growing quite well in the autumn sun.

So it was with a little ache that I had to leave it, as I was summoned for a last minute business trip to Tokyo. When I got back, the water had all dried up, and the stalks had fallen to the side. It was both hilarious and sad at the same time!

I tried to put some water back into the container, since they didn't look that bad. One of my previous batches dried up completely when I was away for more than a week! Nothing to lose, I thought.

And it rewarded my optimism by soaking it up, and slowly bent upwards again towards the sun. Wow, there is hope after all! So I kept watering it, amazed at each mini progress daily. It was fun waking up to see how much better it looked.

After a few days, I decided it was time for harvesting. It didn't look like it could grow any taller, or maybe the weight was making it bend down. So I cut off and stir fried with chopped garlic and sprinkled with oyster sauce. Of course, it looked very little at the end of it!

I showed my parents these pictures, and my mum commented that they looked too skinny. Of course, they had only water to drink and no nutrition at all. I was about to let the remaining seeds grow into a 3rd batch, but realised it had probably given all that it had by then. Oh well, was a fun and edible experiment nevertheless!