have you tried honesty?

Yes, I'm back. :)

Did I tell you we had 8 events in 2 weeks? In between that, I had to attend 2 interviews, one of which was for the Jap scholarship. Schedule was really tight, and I felt anxious asking my boss for a leave, seeing that that day we had 2 AGMs to handle. Whatmore, I had to ask her for a recommendation. Can you imagine the look on her face - she thought I was going to resign!

It can only be God's doing that I managed to do all that, while trying to convince her that I was just trying out for the scholarship, and even if I do get it, I will only leave next year. Things in the office have been really crazy lately, one staff away on maternity leave and another just tendered her resignation but left early to prepare for her wedding. So we're pretty short-handed at the moment. The last thing she'd want is for anyone else to be away.

I did something similar when I first started working here. 2 weeks into my employment, I was asked to attend a whole-day assessment with Shell. I'd already passed the earlier interview, this was the 2nd round. It was a chance of a lifetime, I didn't need to think twice. But since I was new, I couldn't just apply for a leave.

I prayed really really hard, as there was no way I wanted to create an excuse just to get her approval. I told God that if it was His will, it would happen anyway, and I would do my part by being honest. So there I went into my boss' room for the first time, telling her I wanted to take leave, to attend an interview, at another company!

She was speechless for awhile, and asked me why. I told her that this was the last stage, and I didn't want to let such an opportunity go to waste. To my utter delight, she approved. She must've thought I was a nut to even think of asking.

But anyways, I went for the interview, the toughest I've ever been to. But it was also the best, as we were all treated very nicely, even given a sumptious lunch in between. I managed to strike friendship with some of the participants as well.

As you know by now, I didn't get it. But I left with a strong impression of the company and its culture. I wish I'd gotten in, coz I missed the mark very marginally. But the thing that I'll never forget are the comments and praises made by the panel of interviewers. Their assessment of my strengths and weaknesses were pretty accurate, and they gave pointers on areas to improve. Not many companies do these during their interviews.

Honesty has, and always will, be the best policy. My friends think it preposterous to do anything like that. I've gone through 2 experiences which is considered by many to be suicide, career-wise. These aren't small incidents. I've had many sleepless nights thinking if it would be a right move.

Both times, I've committed the situation to God. Both times, I've prayed and told God that everything else is up to Him. After saying out what I want to say to my boss, I have no control of how things would turn out after that. I may not be fired or forced to resign, but may have an unfair assessment or biased treatment.

I also didn't get the job I wanted, but in the end, I think it was a step of faith. I learnt so much more in other areas. Things that I wouldn't have had the chance to learn in any other situations. I learnt to trust in God, even in seemingly absurd situations, for whatever reasons only He knows.

And oh, the interview yesterday went quite well. I was surprisingly calm throughout, despite not being 100% prepared. I was ushered in way earlier than my appointed time slot. I can't say I'll get selected, but whatever it is, it was a good experience. You know why? God was there throughout.