weights and purple cows

Some of the things which I started doing this week month was sorta like new year resolutions.

I got inspired by this article which I read in The Star, the copy that MAS gave away to its passengers. So happened I flew back to Tokyo on New Year's day itself, and there were naturally many articles which talked about starting the year anew, making resolutions (and breaking them) and doing things differently.

This immediately struck me as something I needed. I used to do lots of sports back in uni. My summer time here was filled with memories of tennis, basketball and badminton. But after starting work, with less time on my hands and a tired body at the end of the day, I have begun to be more unfit as the days go by. This article showed that I could still do a proper workout at home with very basic equipment.

Due to my commuting, I have to walk up and down many flights of stairs, so that covers Step 1. I also have another flight of stairs in the house, steep ones too, to save space in typical Japanese homes. I've already got a carpet in the room, so I don't need a mat so that kinda covers Steps 2, 6 & 7. And my housemate was not using his water-weights (ya, the kind where you just fill with water, but it ain't that heavy!) so I have that for the other steps. Maybe I'll invest in better weights later.

I personally prefer team sports to going to the gym as it's boring to do weights and machines alone. I really miss sports when I'm here, but I've found a really good site which organises events such as these for foreigners and I was thinking of joining them one day. Weekdays are out of the question, so will have to find a free weekday for this.

And also, the boss was recommending this book. He actually recommended another book for me. But the Swedish designer was reading the Purple Cow earlier and kept using the word "remarkable" that I decided to check it out while waiting for my order to be confirmed for Free Prize Inside. It's been quite an easy but insightful read so far, and this is certainly something which I can make full use of my commuting time with. Plus, it's been ages since I've done some proper reading!

Yes, perhaps, unconsciously, I have been going through new year's resolution without actually making them!

how apt

Even though regarded as not as indepth by some, the ODB has been a true companion in my QT. During good times, the readings from ODB served as reminders of verses which I'm supposed to have memorised since I was a typical Sunday School-brought up kid. During bad times, they seem to have an uncanny knack of speaking right through my heart.

Not just once or twice, but I remember during my down time when I first came to Tokyo, a series of readings in that particular week felt like it was written just for me. Off and on thereafter, the verses were exactly what I needed for that particular situation.

Just like today. Usually I do my QT after washing up and before I go about my own routine. But today, I decided to journal my first thoughts of the day before I forget, and proceeded to do my QT. And the verses addressed the issues I wrote about, and spoke some assurance to my heart that God still is in control :

Psalms 37 [New International Version]
1 Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong;

2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.

3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.


7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.

9 For evil men will be cut off,
but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

********************************************************************************

Today my dad called me, to see if I was alright. He said he had been trying to send me an SMS to my phone. No wonder the previous message about my granma didn't get through. I told him that the Japanese are so advanced they bypassed SMS and went straight to e-mails instead. This verse does not just apply to last week, but to past happenings months ago :

Philippians 3 [New International Version]
13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,
14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

bye-bye ah poh

Saturday, 19th Jan
Close to midnight, I get a message from my cousin on MSN that granma's in hospital. Critical, he adds, and the doctor said she might go anytime.
I panic, since the last I talked to mum, granma was fine. She has had a few ailments and previous ops, but nothing major. I quickly call my mum to confirm. Why didn't I hear this from my parents? Parents have just come back from cell, and mum is about to leave to the hospital, as she and my aunts and uncles take turns to be with granma. Mum says she didn't want me to worry, and asks me to pray along for granma's recovery.

Sunday, 20th Jan
I wake up early, as I have a friend to bring over to church. Still feeling bad over last night's conversation, I get distracted and take the train in the wrong direction. End up late in meeting my friend, but still reach church in time for the few last worship songs. Glad to meet up with the people in the Bread of Life church, since this is the first time since I came back to Japan. Miss the warmth of fellowship this family-like church has.
Go off for a housewarming party and some final winter shopping, but thoughts of granma keep coming to mind. Is she alright? Will she make it? Will I see her again? Should I call my parents? Why hasn't anyone said anything??

Monday, 21st Jan
I head off to work, thanking God for another day. I still get that restless feeling. First time I have so many random thoughts running through my head. How else should I pray? Pray that granma will live longer so that I can still see her when I go back next? I should also prepare for the worst, should I start booking tickets? Can I afford it, since I just went back not too long ago? Should I call my parents? But I don't want to hear bad news. I badly need to know what's happening but I'm scared.
Boss and colleague seem to be in happy mood, while I try to be happy too. It's already 2 days, and nothing. Maybe this is just my mind being worried for nothing. Can't really concentrate, but have to push myself to focus. I keep pushing out the negative thoughts and hope for the best.

Tuesday, 22nd Jan
Feeling worse, I text my boss asking to work from home for the 1st part of the day. I try to get some copywriting done, but I have this awful feeling that something wrong must have happened. Since working from home doesn't really help to get this feeling away, I pack up and leave for the office.
Half the day is gone, and I'm counting the minutes away. About half an hour before I officially end, Gwen, a church & family friend messages me. She added me some time back, but has never messaged me before. She says sorry. I say, for what? She replies, something my granma. My head starts to reel, this cannot be true. I ask her, when did it happen? She gets confused, asked if this is MK, my Chinese name. I keep asking, what happened, when? She realises I don't know anything, and apologises again. Tells me that my granma passed away on Sunday, the memorial was yesterday and funeral today.
At this point, I feel like fainting, everything's a blur to me. My boss notices the change in me, and asks if I am ok. I have been trying to stop myself, but as soon as I mention my granma, the tears just keep flowing. This cannot be true. I keep looking at the last few text on the MSN, wondering why my parents didn't tell me. The tears just flow and my nose gets clogged up. The boss comes over and puts his arms around me. He tries to console me by asking what I remember most about my granma, and what she was like.
On the way back, I text some friends, who are aware about the situation when I chatted with them last Saturday. One of them, Jeny, from the church last Sunday calls and talks with me while I cry again. She prays for me, but I sense another call coming in. Could it be my parents? I want to so badly call them back immediately but what should I say? Why didn't you tell me earlier?
Without wasting too much time, I say a quick prayer and call my dad's handphone. The moment I hear his voice, I just can't control but ask him that question. He passes the phone to mum. Oh no, I should not have asked that question, I should maintain myself and be brave for my mum. Surprisingly, mum is taking it quite well. Apparently my dad tried to message me and my brother yesterday, but I didnt get it. My brother in UK did, and called back yesterday. My parents thought I needed some time to recover.
I ask many questions, and am assured that granma went away peacefully. We talk about what happened, and how she's taking it. Even though I am the one crying throughout the conversation, I feel better as I know my granma is at a better place, and her final wishes to be buried with granpa was fufilled.
She used to cook the best french fries and Hainanese chicken rice. I will always remember the quilt blankets she made for us and how she always fed us a good meal everytime we visited her. She's lived a good 90 years, lived to see her first great-grandson born, and has accepted the Lord. It's time to let her go, but I will miss her dearly.

i follow the forecast religiously!

If you know me, you would know that I hate the cold. I can survive in a hot stuffy room with no fan in summery Malaysia, but put me in an air-conditioned room and I'll do whatever is needed to stay warm. That's why I was glad my roommate back in MMU had the same preference. Our room had the fan set on 1 or 2, but my other grrlfriends had theirs on 3, but even that was considered hot.

But after coming to Japan, I have had to learn to deal with both extremes. The hot & humid summer and the cold blistering winter. It was still fine in Niigata, probably because insulation was good and we had proper heating/cooling system in the buildings.

People always wondered why I can't stand the cold in Tokyo when Niigata has more snow. That's because I was living on campus; so my daily routine only involved going to school and back, and through the covered walkway protected from the snow outside. Even if I were to drive out of campus, my car had heaters. The uni had heaters, the shops had heaters, everywhere! It's so unlike Tokyo where everyone walks. Walk to office, walk to school, walk to shop. I'm exposed to the elements out here. Add the wind and the temperature drops further. That's why I feel like Tokyo's colder!

In fact I think because Niigata has heavy snowfall, it has built its buildings and homes better. I remember going to sleep snuggily in my campus dorm in cold winter days. Tokyo houses are so old and usually made of wood, very bad materials for a comfy sleep at night. Furthermore, the side of the wall where my bed is, is 3/4 windows which covers almost from top to bottom. So if I wake up on the wrong side of bed, I feel icicles forming my nose frozen.

The temperature in Tokyo is not that much different from Niigata, probably 5 degrees apart. But the ironic thing is it hardly snows here. So cold and yet no snow - The cold is not justified! People are telling me February will be even colder. It's already hovering around 3 degrees today, how am I going to survive next month? Perhaps the snow this weekend is something I could look forward to. This is the first time I see this snowman on the weather forecast (as opposed to Thursday's flurry), so this must be real!

flurries or snow, who knows?

This was taken off my Skype today. The first message was sent at 01:40:04 Japan time, but since my laptop is set to Malaysian time, the following took place 1 hour after.

[12:40:04 AM] me: i think its snowing!
[10:51:40 AM] shok wan: where??
[10:51:46 AM] me: aiyo u ar
[10:51:48 AM] me: last night
[10:51:59 AM] shok wan: realli??
[10:52:06 AM] shok wan: i slept d
[10:52:24 AM] me: yalor
[10:52:27 AM] me: about 130 like that
[10:52:34 AM] shok wan: nice?
[10:52:38 AM] shok wan: or flurries?
[10:52:49 AM] shok wan: ya last nite was cold! n cloudy
[10:58:42 AM] me: ya ya
[10:58:48 AM] me: it was mixture of rain n soft snow
[10:59:01 AM] me: i tot was raining at first.. was surprised coz weather forecast was no rain at all this week
[10:59:06 AM] me: and secretly i was hoping that it woudl be snow
[10:59:13 AM] me: so when i opened the window, i saw mixture of both
[10:59:15 AM] me: was so happy!
[10:59:17 AM] me: so magical
[10:59:19 AM] me: even tho so little
[11:00:34 AM] shok wan: i wish there is a bigger one b4 i leave
[11:00:41 AM] shok wan: but fat hope
[11:02:15 AM] me: so i was surprised this morning was quite bright n sunny
[11:02:21 AM] me: then i knew .... the snow would've melted already
[11:02:49 AM] shok wan: the snow woul dhave melted last nite itself anyways
[11:02:55 AM] shok wan: flurries dont pile up
[11:03:22 AM] shok wan: but congrats u saw the first snow of the season!
[11:03:31 AM] me: who knws mayb there were some bfore this?
[11:03:37 AM] me: but we slept through it?
[11:06:39 AM] shok wan: true
[11:06:45 AM] shok wan: but u saw snow
[11:06:45 AM] shok wan: :D

Unfortunately I don't have the pics for these. The flurries melted almost as soon as they landed. But who cares, it snowed!

a terribly wonderful weekend!

I survived my 1st week back at work after the (relatively) long holidays. And was rewarded with a long weekend because yesterday was the Seijin No Hi, or known as the Coming of Age Day. All young people who are, or will be 20 years old celebrate this day because it marks their transition to adulthood.

At the age of 20, these youths are officially recognised as adults and gain the right to vote as well as to drink and smoke. I was supposed to see these young people dressed in kimono or traditional costumes, but unfortunately did not bump into any. Perhaps because I was hanging out at my friend's place the whole day.

Anyways, the weekend was such a bliss. It started on Friday night itself when I was caught in a dilemma between meeting up with uni friends and a fellow Malaysian whom I haven't met for almost a year. I was closer to my campus-mates and wanted to catch up with them, but they ffk* last minute! Good thing I had a backup plan, so agreed to meet KW for dinner at Meguro.

Since he missed his comfort food, we decided to try out this bar called the British Tavern. I kinda liked the environment coz it was so un-Japanese. So many foreigners and they had un-Japanese food like fish & chips which I have not seen in menus here before. While trying to look for a seat near the bar, the waitress tapped me on the shoulder. So I walked in, thinking she was leading the way.

Then she tapped again. So I thought maybe we were not supposed to walk that way, but it felt strange coz she didn't say anything. So I turned, and looked up to see none other than the French grrl whom I stayed with back in Nerima. Yes, the one who was so generous she said I could stay there anytime, for as long as I needed a roof over my head. She had actually come to Japan with a friend, whom she shared the room with. But to accommodate me, she stayed upstairs with her Thai-French boyfriend while I had the bed to myself.

I had never met anyone so generous to a stranger like me before. So when we said goodbye last September, I thought I'd never see her again. Her last plan was to leave in January, but looked like she extended her stay till May. I can never repay her and her friend's kindness and hospitality. I wanted to catch up more with her, but she was working there so I promised I'd meet up for drinks another time.

Saturday night was spent catching up with my uni MBA seniors at a local Japanese bar. It came highly recommended, this Andy Shin's Hinomoto which was so inconspicuous that we actually passed it a few times before realising it was hidden underneath the elevated railway tracks. Even though it was supposed to be a birthday celebration for SS, but we focussed on everyone coz we haven't met since we graduated.

I was hosting R over the weekend, my 4th guest from IUJ. All my stay-over guests were 2nd year MBA friends who still had another year to go. The last 3 visited after the New Year coz they had all just came back from their respective exchange programmes from Switzerland, Hong Kong and China. It was really fun hosting them even though it was only for a few days, but sad when they had to leave. A little part of me wished I was doing MBA too. But I think secretly I wanted to go back to studying again!

Sunday noon saw me meeting up with SookWei, SookPing's sister. I've also not met her for probably years! SookPing was my ex-housemate back during MMU, and we were close buddies for many years. So I was quite thrilled to hear that her sis got a scholarship to study MBA in Hitotsubashi. She was still as bubbly as ever, and she even commented that I looked good. I said, of course, I'm with good company! I got that comment too when I went back to IUJ last autumn.

I even invited her to the afternoon service at the GAP church, and was pleasantly surprised that she agreed to tag along. We caught up a bit more during the train ride and discovered we had many things in common. I have one more shopping buddy now, which is not necessarily a good thing. But the amazing thing is what happened after the Pastor's message. He started pairing us up for prayers and I started explaining to her about how prayer works. She's been to churches in M'sia, but I didn't expect her to return a "prayer" to me after I prayed for her!

Sunday was supposed to be hotsprings and/or shopping with Shokwan, but she had run late helping a friend. Good thing K called, and I had lunch with him and spent the whole day chilling out at his place watching movies.

Basically the whole weekend was a blast, in a chill out sense. Felt that having a positive attitude changed everything. I did put in effort into wanting to meet up with some people, but the rest of the invitations just came in unexpectedly. So much so that I had to say no to some, like my ex-Niigata University friends who were in Tokyo for the weekend.

It felt good being invited, and having too many things going on and people wanting a piece of me. It felt like the lifestyle I used to have back in Malaysia. I'm quite sure this will not happen every weekend, and this is not to say I like rejecting people, but I'm really thankful things are getting better. I'm appreciating it while it's here. When you've been down where I was before, simple joys like these make you smile before you go to bed at night.



*ffk = fong fei kei (literally translated means "let go airplane" - stood me up)

of snow (or the lack of it) and morning Bible Study

The weather forecast stated possibility of snow today. But I woke up to a cloudy morning and realised it was only raining. This is the earliest I've ever woken up on a Saturday. Well, I'm usually up around 12 coz I feel Saturday is the only day I get to sleep in.

But today was supposed to be our 2nd cross-country Bible lesson after a long while. I must admit, it's not easy. We were quite gung-ho about it in the beginning. Conflicting schedules and other commitments threatened to derail our good intentions to study the book of Job. And just when I was settling down with my Bible & note book, Eewei's Skype (actually it's her friend's coz the connection at her home is so bad) gave us some problems.

I'm still waiting for her to come back online. We've been trying to call each other off and on, but the line kept dropping. In the meantime, I tried to re-read what I wrote in my journal last month. The original Bible Study was supposed to be on the 9th of December (!), and it was to be my turn to lead. But since it's been postponed so long, I've almost quite forgotten what I've written back then.

While waiting for her, I went through some online commentaries as well to refresh my memory about that particular passage. Some fresh thoughts came. Perhaps it was timely, given some recent experiences. Our passage for the day was Job 1:1 - 3:26. Some questions that would draw more discussion than the rest involve the importance of one's spouse in responding to tragedy in life, if it was wrong for Job to curse the day of his birth, and Eliphaz's affirmation of Job.

I have some personal questions too. And I can't wait to share it out with her. But she's still not online, and I'm getting sleepy :D And there's no snow outside. What a pity, it's so cold but there's no snow. For someone like me who'd rather lie on the beach than go to the Alps, the snow would have helped me endure the cold better.

i am thankful :)

This came in the email some time end of last year. I never liked forwarded chain emails, especially those that threaten to curse you if you don't send it out to 10 friends in the next 1 hour. But this was forwarded to my dad by a friend whom he considered more Christian in his conduct and behaviour than some Christian friends. Some of you were concerned about the mood of my last few posts, so I went back to re-read this email and decided to be more positive in my outlook.


I AM THANKFUL:


FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.


FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.


FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME, NOT ON THE STREETS.


FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED .


FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.


FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.


FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE


FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME


FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.


FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING
AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION


FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.


FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.


FOR THE PILE OF
LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.


FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.


FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.


AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT. I JUST DID.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

what will the new year bring?

I don't know much about politics except that it's dirty. Much has happened just before the New Year and even after, in other countries and back home. Tragedies and disasters don't pause during holidays, some in fact worsen on special occasions. I was even told that I shouldn't be flying on New Year's Day coz apparently there is higher percentage of the plane being hijacked or being struck down.

One of the most shocking news was the death and murder of Benazir Bhutto. I grew up hearing her name many times, but never really knew who she was except that she was this fearless lady in Pakistan. But after her tragic death just last week, I read about her colourful background and her rise to lead the people of Pakistan on the road to democracy. I am proud that a lady like her had the guts and determination to fight, in a land where the national religion does not seem to favour women leaders.

The other surprise, not so much as shock, was the resignation of Dr Chua Soi Lek, VP of MCA and Malaysia's Health Minister. His list of accomplishments for the health sector and the country was rather impressive. But I'm sure he's not the only one with a scandal to his name. His resignation did not come as a surprise, but I'm disappointed that other ministers who's probably had bigger secrets in their lives are the ones asking him to resign.

No matter how good your intention, politics will remain dirty, and corrupted. I'm sorry that Benazir is no longer there to lead her countrymen to a better future, but I wish for more women leaders to stand up and do what's necessary. Women may be considered the more emotional beings, but they provide balance to the men who can be so hard-hearted sometimes. I'm also sorry that out of the more corrupt leaders, Dr Chua got caught instead. Some people are too quick to notice the speck in their brother's eye than the log in their own. I admire his guts to admit his own wrongdoing.

This is not a perfect world, and will never be. There's still so much sadness and pain in the world today. A lot of people wonder what the future brings, and wish that the turn of the year will automatically bring better things ahead. Unfortunately, for some it only gets worse. The only constant is Jesus. I wish you would get to know Him, and have Him walk by your side as you start your life anew this year. The bad and ugly will still be there, but His peace will always be your guiding assurance.

selamat tahun baru 2008

I can't believe it. It's 2008 already. Time really flies.

I don't know what to make of last year. I wish I could say it's the best ever, like what has been the "trend" for the past few years or so.

Too many things have happened in 2007, it makes me hope for better things this year. Things are still very hazy and uncertain on many fronts but I want to believe that God has good things in store for me. I want to say with an assurance that He holds my future. I know these for a fact, but sometimes facts aren't so easy to believe.

I'm writing this from my home even as I celebrate Christmas and New Year's in warm humid Malaysia. I am definitely not looking forward to going back to the wintry weather in Tokyo tomorrow, it's at least 25 degrees lower! What I'm looking forward (or rather, trying to) is the new year.

I want to start on a clean slate, put the memories behind and trust that I'm not alone in this, and that He will never leave me nor forsake me.