Tuesday, March 20, 2012

that internet fast

For the past few weeks or so, I have been unexpectedly occupied with proposal work for a prospective client, and trying to recover from an annoying bout of cold and cough. Yes, it just had to happen during my birthday week.

I couldn't wait to have my part of the proposal done with, and to recover enough to go back to my late nights - just so that I could catch up with the other part of my social life.

To be honest, I was on a deliberate Internet fast, or more specifically, FB, Twit & Blog fast for about a month after CNY. It was a personal vow that I wanted to do because I had somehow missed out on a proper reflection period when everyone else was doing theirs. Not because it's a norm to do one before the new year is ushered in, but there were just too many times I had put off doing it for the past year.

So it wasn't a reflection per se, but also spending time with God, and thinking and praying about the things that matter most.

I think this must be how detox feels like - to flush out the things that have kept me sluggish, to focus on what was good for my soul, and to try to use that period to inculcate good habits that I hope will be sustainable for the coming months. Well, ideally it should be for life, but I'd like to take it a little step at a time.

With the exception of my student days, I've never read so many books in my adult life combined. I must have had at least 5 books on my bed or table at any one time, many more waiting to be read. Managed to finish some really good ones, journalled on most days, and felt like I was discovering something new with each reminder.

Even though I shouldn't ask for my early Tokyo days to be replicated, nor have that circumstance materialise in my current situation, I try to wake up thanking God for another brand new day and go to sleep appreciating what He has helped me gone through.

I guess He kinda answered my prayer by allowing me to have this time in between projects. I enjoy the luxury when I get to work from home (like catching glimpses of the sunbird family), the flexibility of running errands from last year's list, catching up with life and doing a lot of pondering in between.

Then I realise there were a few habits I was trying to foster all at once - waking up early to pray, reading His Word first thing in the morning, be mindful of Him throughout the day, posting the day's ODB title in Japanese on my company's IM, journal at least once a week, continue reading a spiritually nourishing and/or intellectually stimulating book, etc.

Then this proposal work came in, I got hit by the bug that was going around the Klang Valley, and things got busy and krazy again. Long hours and weekend work started to remind me of my previous project, and soon I got tired and didn't do some of the things I had diligently set out to do when I was "fasting".

So I reminded myself that perhaps I was trying to achieve too many at once, and given a different set of situation, I should be more flexible in what I was trying to do in a day.

I think for most part, I've learnt quite a bit during that time, even if a lot of it were reminders of things I already knew. Like being thankful in all circumstances, trusting in Him even though I don't know the reasons, and being obedient.

I fear somehow this period will not last long, well it shouldn't because it will not look good professionally! So I'm cherishing it while it lasts, and hoping I get to discover more of Him along the way.

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