saying my goodbyes

Didn't know it'd feel like this. Throughout my last year at work, I was waiting for the day when I'd throw in the letter and say it to their face, "I have had it, it's time I move to greener pastures and leave this scum place. I can't believe I've lasted this long, I must've been mad to endure all these shit nonsense."

As the days went by, I realised I was actually missing the people I've worked together with these past 4 years. FOUR freaking years! How many of today's yuppies have worked that long at their first job?

They threw me a farewell party at Chilli's, MidValley on Thursday. I was already coming down with a cold and fever. All the running around on low fuel. If it wasn't for me they were celebrating, I'd have taken a rain check on that. It was really sweet of them to do that.

Even though we do farewells for each (well, most) colleague, and mine was to be expected, I wouldn't have minded if they didn't. After all, they just threw a birthday party for me and 2 others whose birthdays fall in March. And because of the short notice, and the concurrent handovers everywhere, it was really quite a feat.

I got a furry coat in brown! Sorry, no time to post up pictures. Which reminds me, tonnes of others from the past weeks as well. Jap thingy taking up my time. Anyways, that was really touching! Now I don't have to go shop for a coat anymore.

So, yesterday was my last day. I had been looking forward to this day for ages. But all I felt were mixed emotions. Sure I was happy that I was finally leaving, and with pride. I almost had to resort to resigning without finding a new job, that was how bad things had become.

But at the same time, I was getting teary. This was where I first started work, got corrupted by sex-crazed colleagues educated in the ways of the corporate world and learnt that God indeed put me there for a reason. I have come a long way, and on hindsight, am able to see why I had to go through certain things.

These past few days, I've come to realise that my presence really did make a impact. That some of my colleagues do appreciate me for who I am, and the efforts I put in at work did not go unnoticed. It's a pity I only came to know all these during my last few days at work.

But I'm glad nonetheless, at least now I know my candle did shine in that place of darkness. Even if it was a struggling little light in the billowing cold and blackness, it did make a difference.