Tuesday, May 31, 2011


Courage is not the towering oak
That sees the storm come and go,
It is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow.

Alice Mackenzie Swaim

Saturday, May 28, 2011


Just when I thought I was about to explode with all that stress around me, and all I wanted to do after a tough week was to curl up in bed, I was prompted to go for cell tonight.

Since I was helping out, I felt a bit uneasy as my mind was not really focused. In the midst of trying to get a quick bite I felt like catching up on the book "You Were Made For More". This was actually on loan from Hyun but somehow ended up in Malaysia with me because I never got the chance to read it when I was still in Japan.

In between entertaining the kids from my mum's cell, and quickly finishing up the soup I only managed to cover a few pages. But those few pages was enough to remind me that despite life's struggles we should remember to thank God for His blessings.

As cliche as this sound, it would do us well to recall the good things He has put in our lives and how He has carried us through in the past. If God has done that for me before, He will continue to be with me even through today's trials.

I almost wanted to slap myself because it was really silly of me to forget this simple fact. And even so that I have experienced His goodness over and over in really down times and yet here I was, never allowing Him to be in control thinking I could do it myself.

Cell tonight was centred around Job chapters 20 through 28; we did a bible study on those verses. One of the summary points brought back the same message about trusting God. In the midst of difficulties, sometimes we lose ourselves in the middle of all that's happening. We may complain and grumble about it, but as long as we don't submit to Him, those problems will always seem bigger than Him.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

conned & insulted

The past few weeks have been incredibly tough, especially at the office. Working long hours and even on weekends isn't something I enjoy, so I salute those who have been doing it for years, and are still able to have a semblance of life.

I'm not a fan of work encroaching into personal life especially when I get to go home after the sun sets, and still work is on my mind. More so when I have to play catch up during the weekends.

Some of the things that have happened at work this month have tested my patience and thickened my skin. Just when I thought I've had it tough before, this is really much more than anything I've ever had to go through.

Can't say if things will get better, but at least talking to the right people and venting it out have helped put things into perspective. By knowing how to deal with difficult people and looking at the bigger picture, this has helped me to manage the stress better.

Not surprising that there is high turnover in the consulting line. Not only is the mantra to please the clients, but a lot of times this involves eating the humble pie and letting the client receive the credit.

I try to remind myself that being in these difficult situations help in character development, not to mention learning a lot about myself and how much I can be stretched.

But I think at the end of the day, I know this is probably not what I want for the long term. The consulting line may look glamorous on the outside, and even outsiders will say all kinds of things about consultants. But being one myself, I can understand why they are like that.

Let's see how things unfold; I just hope I can last long enough to preserve my sanity!

Monday, May 23, 2011

candles for grrlfriends

Just when I thought there wouldn't be anymore reasons to celebrate, we had a (very!) belated birthday gathering for Lai Ying and myself. Knowing how busy everyone was, the 7D4 taikacher and I had to organise this one ourselves :D

It's heartening that after all these 10+ years of knowing each other, we still try to maintain ties and meet up as much as possible. There was even a point where Lai Ying and I decided that even if none of the 7D4 babes were able to make it for our birthdays, we would still celebrate for each other.

This was taken at Kobe Gyutaku, a very elegant Japanese restaurant I've taken much liking to. Wei Mun & hubby were surprised that such a nice little place existed within their "neighbourhood".

I'll try to post a proper one up where I brought my family for mum's birthday. In the meantime, I'm just grateful that no matter how (not so) frequent we meet, we can still pick up from where we last left and chat away and catch up with each other's lives.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

pantry sense

After more than a year of working at the client's I have unconsciously learnt their mannerisms.

Was just at the pantry filling up the thermos when I realised Mr Abadi coming in to fill his water tumbler, so I greeted him. My back was facing him, and I didn't turn to look around.

He was naturally surprised that I recognised him, thinking perhaps it may have been the footsteps that gave him away.

So he asked how I knew. I said it was my 6th sense.

What he didn't know was that the orange panel behind the water dispenser was glossy enough to act as a reflector. It's definitely not a mirror, but it reflects enough light just to show the silhouette of anyone who walks past it.

I just get a kick out of seeing people's reaction when I greet them without even turning to see their face.

So don't tell them our little secret ;)

Sunday, May 15, 2011

gifts to remind

sometimes when i'm feeling down, i like to look back at the gifts i've received.

in a way they remind me to be thankful for what i have. they remind me that there are people who care.

though i didn't get to celebrate my birthday with all my favourite people in march, but that's because they're taking their time and i even had a belated one this evening!

Monday, May 02, 2011

on days like these

on days like these, i thank God for the rain
cool evenings
a whisper with the wind

on days like these, i wish i knew what to do
muddled thoughts
questions hanging in the air

on days like these, i feel your pain
intense agony
wonder if this is true

on days like these, i grasp for stars
sparkling above
will they bring hope

on days like these, i want to curl up in bed
sleep away
and wake up to a brand new day

on days like these, i thank God for His love
gracious mercy
without which i wouldn't be alive