Sunday, August 15, 2010

1yr+10d after that one-way ticket home

This would have been an anniversary post if not for the fact that the transition period has taken a lot of my time, and for some reason some very interesting turn of events have left me with almost no time of my own.

I had wanted to pen in a reflective post about how my 1 year back home has been. For some reason, whenever I try to think about 1 year anniversaries, not just this time but for other significant happenings, they lead me to things unexpected.

Like how after 1 year in Tokyo I wanted to run away from that foreign land, reward myself with a holiday Down Under and even attempted to return home, abandoning my possessions in the metropolitan. My trip left me so refreshed I was tempted to burn my passport so that I had no choice but to stay back!

I returned to Japan missing Australia, but very soon after that started falling in love with Japan. So much so that it became very hard to let go when it was time to.

It was quite similar this time around. I had difficulties adapting back. It wasn't like I was trying, I just didn't want to fight it. Since I've heard of many other IUJ friends who's had reverse cultural shock, I expected that of myself too.

So the past 1 year was me struggling to make sense of a country which has gone backwards, which disappointed me with its politics and progress. I was returning to a worse place than before.

After awhile, I tried not to think too much about it. Work helped a lot; in fact it was ironically work that saved me. For the first time I actually had a job which I enjoyed doing, with colleagues who were fun to work with, and in a client office which was pretty convenient.

I knew that was also where the danger lay; if I were to depend solely on work to satisfy me and make me happy. God knew I was still seeking, still asking if this was all the reason to come back.

I had begun serving again in church, mainly in the music ministry and helping out a little in the children's and cell. My life was beginning to take the shape of what it was before I left for Japan, but tipped the opposite way with more time spent at work.

Just at the verge of my 1 year anniversary on the 5th, so many things began to take place. It's as if there's always some sort of tornado growing as if telling of impending changes that were just looming on the horizon.

There was a wake for a cell member's dad, I hosted dinner for a couple of Bangladeshi friends who were here for their honeymoon, had a bit of insight into a pastor's kid (PK), played badminton twice this week resulting in overdose of adrenaline rush, spent time with my team mates, celebrated my dad's birthday at a fine dining restaurant at the Le Meridien.

For all the busyness that my life has suddenly taken, it had been a really good week. Plus, I've found a colleague whom I'm carpooling with, which helps to keep my sanity intact; and a good weekly review with the client with no complaints for the first time. And yes, it had to sound like work was so important but I can't help it when it takes up most of my awake time!

Still, I'm not complaining. :) I think I'm slowly coming back; and getting my mojo back. Can't believe it's been 1 year already, but the journey was necessary.

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