sms-ing in nirvana

There's been a steady stream of messages early this week. I wish I could keep all of them, but my ancient 3315 can only store up to 20. And that also, if they don't exceed the 160 characters for each.

So there I was at the funeral parlour, dazed at the sudden turn of events, trying to smile at visitors and relatives who came to pay their last respects, while replying to my messages. I realised that I have many concerned friends, who seemed to have all messaged me at this period, though not knowing exactly what had just happened.

One of my grrlfriends informed me that "ktm has built a bridge over the tracks where we used to cross, at your old house. hv you seen it?"

Another one even asked "hey, what's up, girl? any sales around? have you bought anything fr body glove?"

A friend from Penang obviously thinks I have a supply of jokes to cheer him up when he messaged "hey you! any funny stories for me today? the weather's been hot up here."

My assistant cell leader even asked if my house was open for cell this Friday.

Hello?! I'm mourning here, and you're asking if there are any sales around? And I'm not some clown who's supposed to cheer you up, I need some cheering up myself. Is that what the cell is thinking... if there is cell? What about me?

But of course, since they were nice enough to message me, it would be courteous to do the same. After all, they didn't know any better. But it's hard to reply when they sound so perky, and I'm... well, mourning.

There were also people whom I haven't kept in contact, who messaged me "Hi, long time never hear from you. How are you?" Another one invited me to his housewarming party this coming weekend. One of my pastors asked me to join her for a spa the next Sunday.

Still, it's hard tell them. It's like recalling a sad event over and over again. In my earlier messages, I'd tell them a short story. Later they became shorter stories, and eventually one or two-liners.

But I guess the best are those who knew about it, and sent their warmest greetings. I have 2 favourites : "May time heal ur pain & may warmest memories remain" and "Hey, glad u feel much better. All wil b well soon.. Hope 2 catch u around when d day's more appropriate.. In d meantime, take care n sleep well ya."

Oh, and the iB camp committee actually signed a condolence card together, and hand delivered to me. It was so sweet of them. They were actually celebrating 3 guys' birthday, but I couldn't make it. So they decided to pen down their personal messages in a card :)

Thanks for all your prayers, I'm feeling much better. It's been a bad start to the week, but things are gonna get better. You'll see. :)

granpapa's day

I thought I should write this while it's still fresh. Besides, I owe some people explanation as to why I did not pick up their calls or reply their messages. Yes, even at this time of mourning I'm sensible enough to settle stuff for the next few days.

I can't believe I cried so much. It wasn't as if I was really close to my granpa. He was the strong silent patriarch of the family, and never really said much. Even when I was very young, about 3, when my mum went to Holland to accompany my father on a course, I was left with my maternal grandparents. My younger brother was sent to live with granpa and granma Lee.

I guess, I regretted not spending as much time as I should with him. The last time I met up with them was during CNY. I kept scolding myself that he didn't receive salvation. I don't know if it's my fault for not being there. But my parents have been diligently sharing the good news with him for many years. And of all days, it had to happen on Father's Day...

Well, the one thing that consoled us was that he died peacefully. He wasn't struggling or fighting for his life. He just closed his eyes and breathed his last on his favourite chair.

I just came back from the funeral "service", overwhelmed by the support from the church members. Most of them were from GT's chinese church. In fact, I think they outnumbered the Lee family. It was good to see them meet my relatives. Even some of the church board members came to give their support.

There will be another one tomorrow evening, and we will send him off to be buried on Tues morning. I shall be offline for these few days.

Goodness, I look like a panda. That's my cue to log off and go to bed! It's been a long day and there's still much to do. For those who've messaged me personally, thanks for your prayers. Really appreciate it.

[Update 12 July : My cousin's tribute to our "ah yeh"]

take me to your leader

I'm a sucker for these type of personality tests. Heheh.. There seems to be no end to quizzes that analyse what type of person or character you are. Most of the time they are true, sometimes they just tell you half the story, and there are others which leave you wishing you had spent the last 15 minutes doing something more worthwhile.

Now, this one was not a waste of my time, because the test results suggested that I was a L-E-A-D-E-R. Can you believe it? I don't either, but I ain't gonna argue with this :D

So anyways, this test is slightly different from the rest. After 5 questions, it will reveal one aspect of yourself, and at the end of the 20 questions, the type of personality summed up by these various aspects. As each aspect revealed itself, I found myself beginning to sound like John! But thank goodness, the final one made me a class above distinguished from him... muahahaha!

Summary of Leaders

~ Natural managers who strive for efficiency
~ See the big picture and make strategic plans for the future
~ Think of themselves as bright, independent and logical
~ May overlook other people's need for emotional support

More about Leaders

Leaders are strategic thinkers, planning ahead and anticipating difficulties. They quickly spot inefficiency and organise people to make improvements. Leaders like solving problems at the organisational level, but would rather leave the detailed work to others.

Leaders enjoy discussing complex issues and will challenge people’s views to spark a debate. They admire people who defend their beliefs by arguing persuasively.

In situations where they can’t use their talents or are unappreciated, Leaders may become detached, critical or aggressive. Under extreme stress, Leaders may feel isolated and doubt their abilities.

Leaders are often so ambitious in their careers that they sacrifice their personal life in the process.

Leader Careers
Leaders are often drawn to jobs in management where logical analysis and strategic planning are required.


* * * * * * * *

On 2nd thoughts, the Leader type sounds too choleric for me. Like the 4th point, that's not really true of me. As much as I'd like to be a (natural) Leader, with all the good things that come with it, I think I'll need to re-do the test! Perhaps, this is the one side of me which is hidden and not polished yet :D

of interviews and cartwheels

Yipee Yay! :D

My heart was practically doing cartwheels when I received the good news. I got the interview! Uh huh, looks like I passed the English test the other day.

I don't know why, but last night I decided to check the mailbox. I usually don't, since my parents would usually do that when they come home. For whatever reasons, I felt like there was something there, and I had to do my filial duty as a daughter to take in the day's mails.

As I sorted out my dad's letters and some advertisement leaflets, I noticed there was a big brown envelope at the bottom of the pile. I was half expecting it to be mine, but didn't want to put too much hope in it at the same time. So I decided that that had to be the last one. After all, I've always been the "save the best for last" kinda person.

Imagine my delight when I saw that it was from the "Embassy of Japan". I tried to contain my excitement as I slowly pulled out the contents from the envelope. It was good news after all - "Based on the results of the written examination that you took recently, we are pleased to inform you that you are selected to attend an interview."

Well, well, this is truly something to be proud of. I didn't even get through for the Chevening, so to be able to reach this stage for Monbukagakusho is definitely something. I'm happy, really. Even if I don't eventually get the scholarship, the experience would have been worth it.

Even the list of things that I have to bring for the interview didn't dampen my happiness. There's at least 10 things I need to prepare by the end of this month. I'll be one busy grrl running around getting recommendations, taking pictures, certifying certs and getting the doctor's medical certificate, among many others.

Oh boy, this is gonna be fun! :D

looks that could kill?

Let me be the first to say that Mr & Mrs Smith was better than expected. Thanks to jaderytz, I got the opportunity to catch the sneak preview in TGV last night.

But then again, I went without much expectations anyways. I sorta knew that it would be an okay movie, though not the blockbuster type. Bankable actors with beautiful looks, a rather interesting storyline, sleek household in a suburban setting. The poster itself tells u a bit of what to expect.

Oh, but it was better. I found myself enjoying the witty banter between Jane and John Smith. Someone told me that if the show can make the audience connect and laugh within the first 15 minutes, then it's easier to engage them throughout.

Just when you thought it's gonna end, it surprises you with a twist. There's this part where the action is high, and emotions are equally high, and you think (like some movies of similar genre) it's gonna bring you down just like that, it brings you to another round of non-stop "kan cheong"ness.

The actual word would be "domestic violence" instead of action, but that would give a negative connotation. So, it wasn't that bad, coz the actors end up still looking pretty. Since it wasn't meant to be a violent kinda action, you could see that Mrs Smith's hair looked neatly messed up even after her husband bashes her up against the wall, the sofa and everywhere else in the kitchen, and even after their entire house blows up to pieces.

But do not be put off by the above review. It's not as violent as what the word "bash" actually means. It was all done in a tasteful manner. After all, it's supposed to be an action-comedy-romantic movie. What struck me were the funny lines and great chemistry between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. That's probably what made the entire show entertaining. So if you do go for it, don't expect much and you won't be disappointed. :)

me? you think so?

I guess I have a knack of knowing certain things about people, though sometimes I can't pinpoint what exactly.

So when I was calling a dear friend, R recently, I managed to find out he got together with a mutual friend of ours. More of his actually, come to think of it. Feeling really pleased with myself, I congratulated him for I knew this grrl was a babe.

I had a feeling that they would be suitable for each other. R and I were pretty good friends since uni, and knowing his taste, I thought she would suit him just fine. After our conversation, I decided that I should tell her how happy I was for the both of them.

What I didn't expect was her reply shortly after that :
":-) sure or not.. Hehe. I have thought in my heart before that you and him may have a possibility actually, because I think you have many good qualities :-)"

See what I mean? She's such a babe. I thought that was pretty sweet of her to say such a thing. Needless to say, I was smiling the rest of the day. :)

RM rawks!

Almost wanted to write "Reuben Morgan rawks!", then realised I shouldn't be promoting this guy. After all, as we say, all glory to God.

I usually try not to compare between christian concerts, due to the fact that they are there not as performers, but merely to facilitate the worship atmosphere. To aid in preparing the hearts of the people for a communion with the Father.

The first time I attended a hillsongs concert in PJEFC was when their asian church came visiting. Without going into details, it was not as great as I expected it to be. Perhaps the hype was that they were from the famed Australian church.

So when I heard Reuben was coming, I tried not to be so excited. But after listening to his latest CD "World Through Your Eyes", I must say it was a different treat from the usual Hillsongs fare. I'm going to use the word funky to describe it because I can't think of any word at the moment to best explain his style.

It was a good mixture of some of his latest songs and also the older classics. So old that I didn't know he wrote them! Example being "Lord I give you my heart". After listening to so much of their newer songs, this song doesn't sound very Hillsongs!

I noticed that he used unconventional chord progressions. I'm pretty sure he changed his IV-V-I to perhaps something like IV-V-VIm-II and others which I couldn't figure out on the spot. And just when you expect the song to end "properly", it brings you to another level, as if leaving you hanging halfway, waiting for more.

This was one of the reasons why his songs were different. Funky and given a fresh twist of life. Those who purchased their "resources" that night were given a free copy of his EP, loaded with 7 songs, all done up in reuben style. See, I can't think of a better word!

making beautiful music

the weekend was decidedly relaxing. maybe because i wanted to concentrate on practicing the pieces for sunday's morning service. ps adam's songs were familiar enough, but i'd never played them for church before. cellgroups yes, and that's only because i'm one of the 2 musicians available. heh!

because i've always been playing solo, it's been a learning experience having to adjust my style to team-playing. i never thought i'd be up there on stage with the "terror people", haha... i was quite happy serving in jr church* and helping out with the music in cell.

so when our music pastor asked me if i would like to try out for the worship team, i was pretty much anxious and excited at the same time. to be able to serve alongside the people whose passion is music, and whose worship is to make beautiful tunes to God, that's something amazing.

that kind of passion stirs you from inside and inspires you to want to play better. there's just something when a group of people come together and have the same mindset, same lingo and rhythm.

i can't say i'm up there already. still a long way to go for me. but the experience has been invaluable. i wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. i know the people who've been my inspiration may never get to read this, but i think they're Godsend. either that, or we're pretty desparate for more musicians haha..


* junior church - gtpj's children church

i wanna be a...

Butterfly

You see me, it's not me
There's something underneath my skin
I wanna tear it all away and show the beauty that's within
Begin to come unglued
And throw away the older me
Just give it time and then you'll see

I wanna be a butterfly
Flying in the sky with you today
I wanna lose this old cacoon
I wanna do it soon, and fly away, away

So tired of always crawling up the tree
To fall back down again
This lowly place where i began
Is not the place I'm gonna end up
So before you sum up all the missing pieces on my head
There's so much further I can get

I wanna be a butterfly
Flying in the sky with you today
I wanna lose this old cacoon
I wanna do it soon and fly away, away

Your wind is underneath my wing
It carries me away
It's you my God that make me sing
When I'm on my way
Change a little everyday

I wanna be a butterfly
Flying in the sky with you today
I wanna lose this old cacoon
I wanna do it soon and fly away, away

You take what's old and make it new
So I can be with you and fly away, away


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Title : Butterfly
Artist : Seven Day Jesus
Album : Always Comes Around [1997]
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