It has been a rough week for me. Never felt so physically, mentally and emotionally taxed like this. True that this term is a killer for most of us, compared to autumn. True that I've been going through lots of other stuff recently as well.
I was tempted to take a flight back for CNY even though there's no hols here and I'd have to skip some classes. But in the midst of all these that overwhelms, I decided to spend more time with God.
Well, in a way, I was forced to. There really was no way out. Even if I had pushed on by myself, I'd have stumbled and crashed. I think I argued a bit, cried a bit, and had to give up on certain things as well. And I was wondering when it would come to an end.
I guess things started brightening up yesterday. We took a break and went for the Snow Festival in Muikamachi. It wasn't as great as expected, but it was just the feeling of being out of campus and doing something different. I took a short nap after coming back, but still didn't feel like getting back to work after that.
So I decided to call Au. She suggested that I play the piano for her! Normally, I would say no. When I play worship songs, it's usually private, for His ears only. I don't know why but I invited her and brought along the songbook that Mama sent over. I myself hadn't had the chance to use it yet.
So there we were, hidden in the music room above the gym, cocooned from the blistering cold outside. I played her some songs which I haven't played for almost a year. For the first time, I actually sang and played some worship songs with someone by my side, somewhat as an audience. She said it was beautiful. She had a contented smile on her face when she said it.
I'm glad she enjoyed listening. I hope this was the seed to something greater. Then it struck me, opportunites for the gospel come even in unexpected ways like this. There was hope after all, for me to be a living testimony in this land. I was beginning to feel disappointed that it's really so dead and revival doesn't seem to be on the horizon. I didn't feel like I was being fruitful.
This morning, I woke up and thanked God for the opportunity. I thanked Him that I was able to make a little difference in someone's life.
Today was supposed to be a public holiday, but we had a make-up class for International Business Management. Since I was still in my lazy mode, I didn't manage to finish reading up on the Fuji Xerox case.
As with recent classes, Prof Yoshimori decided to spice up the class by asking questions, to which there were rewards. The first was a one-word reason for the decline of the Fuji Xerox joint venture. I shot up my hands, eager to answer, even though I wasn't quite sure of the answer. I said "complacency" and he looked impressed that I got it right the first time. To this he said "You must've read the case very well!"
You can imagine I was beaming with pride. It dawned on me that I was on to something right. I was listening to God again, I was trying to make things right again, and the little voice was from God after all. It's not something new, it's a well-known fact which is often taken for granted.
If we put Him first, if we submit our ways to Him, He will make our paths straight. Life will not be a bed of roses, nor will everything we want come to us. But unexpected little blessings like these will be there for us to discover.
I had a great day with my friend last night, playing worship songs reminded me that I had not lost my talent after all. I managed to get the first question right even without reading the whole article, and I got exempted from doing the midterm papers because of that.
Life really is full of unexpected little blessings. I just had to be reminded through the hard way. And I am assured again of His extravagant love.
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