the ironic funeral

I thought Wednesday was going to be another funeral where I'd go and play and then come home once the service was over.

I had no problems playing despite the last minute notice (well, it is after all a funeral), and not knowing who I was playing for. But this was one which was quite different from the rest. It was held in our church, though he wasn't exactly a member.

As I was walking into the church premises, I saw this huge wreath of white and yellow flowers near the entrance. Something drew me to it. I took a glance at the name and immediately had a second look. It was addressed to a name familiar to me.

OMG, I gasped, perhaps it was someone with the same name. But it couldn't be. His name is so unique, I still remember what I first thought of when I heard his name. His wife was a uni friend whom I briefly got to know back in Malacca.

Just as I turned from the wreath to walk towards the stage, I saw them. My friend, her husband and their young son. They were seated at the front, the coffin bearing her father-in-law's body near the altar. It was them after all.

So ironic. It was just last year that I played for the wedding of the man's son. And there I was, having to play for his funeral. It was a surreal experience, quite indescribable in words. As I walked towards the front, my head scrambled to find some words to say to them.

Since I wasn't close to her, all I could mutter was "I'm sorry". She appeared fine enough, but her husband just sat on the opposite pew looking understandingly sullen.

I always wonder how I should react when attending funerals like these. More often than not, I'm asked to play for a church member whom I don't know. I try to appear solemn, lest I risk offending the family members. At the same time, I feel like I should say something comforting.

I don't know. If there was a huge line of people waiting to convey their condolences to the family, I doubt if some stranger coming up to say "I'm sorry" would bring much comfort to them. They wouldn't even remember who played for them. For all I know, if my playing was bad enough, that might just have that forever etched in their memory. If I played morosely decent, probably they'll call me for the next funeral.

Oh dear, all these rambling. I hope the family members don't get to read this. I was just wondering aloud what would be appropriate actions in situations such as these.

Well, thank goodness we didn't have the sad hymns that day. The songleader chose some relatively upbeat songs to remember the man by. He was a pastor of a Seremban church, and in his earlier days had attended my church. Hence, his last wish to have a memorial service in GT.

May his soul rest in peace.