tentatively happy

Letter from the Embassy

Please be informed that you have been tentatively accepted to pursue your postgraduate study in Japan under the Monbukagakusho:MEXT scholarship 2006

I almost didn't want to post this up because I feared it might jinx my chances. Heh, I know, Christians aren't supposed to believe that sort of stuff. But I just didn't want to be too happy in case it didn't go through. You know, don't expect too much so that when it comes, you will really appreciate it even more.

So anyways, I've been communicating with IUJ and they told me I have a place there. Now the embassy has to make the final decision.

When I last wrote to the uni, they said I don't have to do anything anymore. Just wait for the announcement from the embassy, which is supposed to be in February.

But I know that I was supposed to send and get the uni to fill up the Letter of Acceptance so that I can send it to the Embassy before they decide. But the lady from Admissions insisted I don't even have to send that Letter over because I've already been accepted.

So this afternoon, I called up the Embassy just to double check. As per usual practice, the lady seems bent on making my life miserable. She kept saying it was too late, I should have told her what the uni said, and that the final decision is in the hands of the Embassy and not the uni.

She made it sound like I did not have a chance anymore. I've never felt so devastated. Here in my hands I have the "tentative acceptance" from the Embassy, and an email from the uni stating I'm already assured of a place. But I'm given the impression that all is lost, I can't do anything to redeem myself and I might as well give up.

I can't even begin to tell you how much I want this. It's like a dog who's worked hard to earn its treat, and when the owner is about to give one to his pet, suddenly decides to withdraw his hand and throw it away into the drain. The owner doesn't even need that little piece of biscuit but decides on a whim to just toss it away. To that dog, the treat is all it's been waiting for all these while.

No wonder some dogs become vicious when not being fed properly. So this is a bad analogy, and I'm no dog, but I'm almost close to tears. So near yet so far.